making plans

(ph: claudia cardinale)

today is kind of a big day, in a small way. my bear gets his orders today, meaning we will finally know where we are going to end up in a few months' time. it's little to celebrate, but when you've spent the past few months or so not really knowing where you could possibly end up living, but knowing you'd be displaced soon, it's quite a relief. it means finally making real plans, instead of coming up with a dozen maybes because your mind can't settle on just accepting that you can't do anything at all. the ability to just let things happen as they come is one that i find difficult to grasp as my life quickly shifts from organized civilian life to the somewhat chaotic and beyond my control lifestyle of the military. it can be both fun and distressing, and although i already wouldn't change it for the world, i have days where it is all too much to handle. but i suppose that's more than acceptable and expected when your other person is apart from you on long and grueling training courses. a lot of thought and many talks went into making the decision for him to join the canadian military, and on hard days i just wish he were back home. but i am overall excited to see what our future holds. and we have so much to look forward to in the next year...

i can't wait to be able to finally start my application for teacher's college, hopefully at ottawa u! i am so looking forward to immersing myself back into french canadian culture, and celebrating being bilingual once again. i am finally going to be able to start my final steps towards becoming a french teacher, and i am seriously so excited! within a few months, bear and i will have our very own place to decorate, and i can't even describe how excited i am for the house searching to begin. i love my toronto apartment, and i will miss it's charm. but i get so excited when it's time to move to new spaces. ...good thing, considering the amount of times moving might happen!

xx

red - phoria

i got your name on a matchbook

 (ph: ?)

twenty four is a confusing age to be at. it's like one day i'm handling things quite well, and the next i'm completely losing my grip on reality! it's all about finally putting my plans into action, which is easier said than done. i'm thinking it's time to put my life as a barista to rest, after more than two years. i mean, there's only so many lattes i can make before i seriously lose my mind. and i really need to quit humouring that stereotype of being a siren slave with an art history degree...

mondays are an odd day to have off. people are rushing about on their first day after a restful weekend, and i'm just talking to my lilycat about architecture and the crazy stuff going on throughout the world. but it's just not a quiet day around me. at least sisterface is stuck home with me!

tor miller - carter & cash

godless heathens always waltz on the sky

(ph: ?)

creeping around while he gets high,
it might not be something you would do.
but you haven't seen my man...

tell me life is beautiful; they all think i have it all

(ph: still from blue valentine, end credits)

i'm not sure what happened, but i have been trying unsuccessfully to convince myself that it all really happened. it's not what i want. but it's what he needs. i literally don't know what in the world is happening without him. i mean, it's been a week filled with learning for me: i realize girl time is much needed (you'd think that was obvious, but being with someone for a long time makes you forget...), and that there are things i need to just let go of. opinions about stuff, mostly. so i know it's been good. and i'm thankful, in a strange way. but in the end, i wish so much that things were different. but i guess, we broke up. 

freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose

(ph: raquel welch)

just a regular sunday, spent with my nose in a book, eating a bowl of vegetable soup. it's snowing like crazy outside, and i'm glad i don't have to go anywhere. i don't want classes to start just yet, but they are unavoidable. nevada soon?

journey - faithfully 

with a noose she could hang from the sun

(ph:?)

writing an essay proposal on korean confucianism and preparing a presentation on anti-nazi propagandist artist, john heartfield. i guess this semester's classes turned out more interesting than i expected. i'm a fan of surprises such as this. on another note, i am waiting for snow. toronto tends to chase the snow clouds away, and i really wish they'd stay.

this morning, i made cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

beck - girl

don't make a scene, dear

 (ph: ?)

unfortunately took a nap after work, and now i can't sleep. staying up late drawing, and watching interview with the vampire until sleep takes me over.

happy birthday, tye-dye zombie killer.

kings of leon - beautiful war

dancing on wire, both ends are on fire

(ph: stephen würth, ghost town)

i want to disappear to the desert for a little bit. i think an adventure is in order. 

(ph: stephen würth, ghost town)

i need to start reading again. anything other than articles written by stuffy art historians, or rosalind krauss.

freeland - borderline 

get by or you're a goner

(ph: ?)

my sleeping schedule is totally not happening. what started this? oh yeah. that night i decided to quit being so antisocial and go party in a basement with a bunch of ocad hooligans and my sister. that snowballed into me reading an entire book until four in the morning, and watching audrey hepburn steal a million until the sun came up. some drawing was also involved. tonight, it's just me and leonard cohen. 

leonard cohen - famous blue raincoat
 

trying to dodge the ground

(ph: some tumblr...)

i have finally started drawing again. i can't wait for my new art stuff to show up in the mail! tomorrow, i have a new day of summer classes. let me tell you, that i will not be taking any summer class again. as much as i love staring at romanesque architecture, there are far too many sunbeams to be chasing outdoors.

(ph: indulgy)

for now, i am so sleepy. there is nothing better than being wrapped up in your boyfriend's sweater. morning lattes and a study date with one cool girl bright and early.

head of the herd (ft. jasmin parkin) - by this time tomorrow

you're gonna go far, kid

 

(ph: ?)

watching once upon a time in the west. got too friendly with boyfriend's adorable little nephew, and he got me sick. already trouble, and barely past one.

queens of the stone age - the vampyre of time and memory

going faster than a rollercoaster

(ph: dolores costello)

canada day. spending it watching black and white silent movies, playing pokemon on my not-gameboy, and listening to buddy holly. the clouds look like they will drop rain at any moment.

 

(ph: jane fonda)

waiting for my barista boyfriend to come home. he knows so very much about the history of cinema, and i love him for it.

buddy holly - peggy sue

don't make me sad, don't make me cry

(ph: jane fonda)

all i do these days is work. but i love the copy centre. boyfriendly visits tonight <3 fringe marathon and chatty kittens. i can't believe i start my summer course in a couple weeks! last few days of freedom in the sunshine...

i long for new ink.

xoxo juliet

mickey & sylvia - love is strange  

the seasons have changed, and so have we

(ph: john william waterhouse - the lady of shalott)

there she weaves by night and day
a magic web with colours gay.
she has heard a whisper say,
a curse is on her if she stay
            to look down to camelot.
she knows not what the curse may be,
and so she weaveth steadily,
and little other care hath she,
            the lady of shalott.

but in her web she still delights
to weave the mirror's magic sights,
for often thro' the silent nights
a funeral, with plumes and lights
            and music, went to camelot:
or when the moon was overhead,
came two young lovers lately wed;
"i am half-sick of shadows," said
            the lady of shalott.

and down the river's dim expanse--
like some bold seer in a trance,
seeing all his own mischance--
with a glassy countenance
            did she look to camelot.
and at the closing of the day
she loosed the chain, and down she lay;
the broad stream bore her far away,
            the lady of shalott.

heard a carol, mournful, holy,
chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
till her blood was frozen slowly,
and her eyes were darken'd wholly,
            turn'd to tower'd camelot;
for ere she reach'd upon the tide
the first house by the water-side,
singing in her song she died,
            the lady of shalott.

-alfred, lord tennyson

soley - pretty face

something in the way she moves

(ph: somewhere in the land of the internet)

my final essay just isn't coming together very easily. my mind is already stuck in summer, filled with nothing but thoughts of sunshine, evening walks, and popsicles. i swear, i am distracted by everything and anything. 

 (ph: 'mehmeturgut deviantart)

i had the most wonderful visit home this past weekend, and i am already homesick, wishing i could still be there. perhaps this is my final year in this city... toronto is a draining place for a wildflower like me. 

 rihanna ft. mikky ekko - stay

stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

(ph: ?)

sunshine almost always makes me high.

the bobbettes - mr. lee 

she can bring me to the sky, intoxicate me with her eyes

(ph: girls of paradise)

can't fall asleep. montreal in days. last few lights of twenty one; it's been an interesting adventure, i don't think i'll miss you.

neverending white lights - of all the things you've done wrong  

our souls collide, trying to land on their feet

(ph: ?)

about to enter the last week of my fourth year as an undergrad. (not yet the last. patience.) it's been so nice out, i am in no way motivated to study for those two final exams, nor write that twenty page essay (what a monstrosity.) 

cross your fingers.

cage the elephant - back against the wall  

control yourself, take only what you need from it

(ph: fuckyeahcarefailure.tumblr, pete nema)

it's nearly five in the morning, and i am about the happiest bouncing soul alive right now because i have one single page left of my essay that i was pretty confident would not get finished. it's about persistence, kids.

blind melon - no rain

don't let the days escape

 (ph: ?)

essay writing may not have been as prioritized in my life as it could have been this weekend, but whatever.

(ph: ?)

instead, chinagirl got to spend time with her boy. today was the most beautiful, sunny sunday i have seen in a long while, and it was spent sleeping in, and driving around casa loma, looking at pretty houses we probably will never own.

now, i sit on my bed with the craziest bun on my head, for real working on my essay. three and a half weeks left of school. 

anberlin - feel good drag (acoustic)